Queer Eye For the Wrong Guy (How Not To Fall for the Wrong Guy)

… believe me, I’m trying!

The first advice I got upon landing in Riyadh is not about the proper way to wear an abaya, not about the solo riding of a cab, not even about communicating with the ibang lahi. It’s “Be careful of Filipino guys here. They’re either married… or pretending to be not married.” Thank you… WTH?!

Three Pink Tarha girls are single but I guess I’m the only one who’s really “available” and the concerned citizens of the desert are just being pretty much protective of me – the seemingly innocent, er, ignorant lady who chose to stay in a wolf den, which makes me not only ignorant but crazy as well. I appreciate the concern really especially when I found out that what they’re saying is true. How hard is it to find a single and available Filipino guy in Saudi Arabia? Oh well, it’s like looking for a needle… in a desert haystack. It’s like rain… in Saudi Arabia. It comes but just once or twice in three hundred days.

In fairness to Filipino guys out there, they’re not all married. Some of them are unhappily married, married a couple of times, have girlfriends, have mistresses, unmarried but with kids, annulled, and some are all of the above. The kinds are endless but we girls know better not to fall for the wrong guy right? Yeah, right!

The first step on how not to fall for the wrong guy is to know who the wrong guys are. So all you single ladies (now put your hands up, oh oh oh), let’s tackle the kinds of guy you’ll find in Riyadh and let’s see how we can “manage” them.

(I’m sure the girls are just as pasaway but I’m a girl! Hindi ko ilalaglag ang mga ka-baro ko. So if a guy will take offense in what he’s about to read, write your own version.)

1. Happily Married
You’ll have no problems with this kind because well, they’re happily married so they’re not the ones likely to flirt with you and seek for additional “relationships.” If you meet a guy who says he’s happily married but asks for your cellphone number and constantly looks at you at the corner of his eyes, then obviously, he’s not happy. Or he’s happy but he wants to be unhappy… which means he’s crazy. Ignore. Do not become a temptation yourself. Do not flirt and do not show you’re interested one bit. Because even if he’s such a hottie, he’s happily married for goodness’ sake! What’s wrong with you?!

2. Unhappily Married
Sometimes, if a guy says he’s married but his marriage is “on the rocks,” he’s probably lying… about the “on the rocks” thing. His wife is just in the Philippines, that’s the “rock” he’s talking about. Or if he’s telling the truth, so what? Even if he’s saying the truth, what does his marriage got to do with you? He’s still married! If his marriage is on the rocks, don’t be the reason for the marriage to fall apart completely. His marriage is not your business so do not involve yourself while they’re battling the odds. Let him finish his problems first. It’s his problem to start with, and until they separate, you’re just an onlooker.

3. Married, More Than Once
Okay maybe the first wife wasn’t the right one and they made a mistake getting married. Or okay, maybe he’s Muslim which makes the three wives legit. But if he’s married in the Philippines and got married in Saudi again to a different woman through whatever means he can think of, then that’s a guy to avoid. He’s already married a couple of times! What else is there left for you? In this city where a marriage license is a must, don’t settle for a dinoktor sa Recto paper. That will get you in a LOT of trouble.

4. Unmarried, With Kids
Playboy much?! He couldn’t commit. And if he couldn’t commit, why commit yourself to him? Besides, he’s got kids. This guy will probably demand you to accept him and his kids wholeheartedly. Truth is, that’s a hard pill to swallow, even if you’re the most compassionate girl in the world. Do you want the added baggage? But if you really like the guy and the kids, then that’s fine. Just make sure he has already changed his ways when he hooks up with you. We women have this notion that we can change men. Truth is, we can’t. A guy will only change if he wants to change. So what makes you think you can change him? For real?

5. Annulled / Divorced / Widowed
Well, there’s really no problem with these kinds of guys unless their exes cause troubles. Make sure they’re really annulled / divorced / widowed legally (and pyschologically) and that their exes and families are not the exes, in-laws, and stepchildren from hell. Just keep your mind and heart open.

6. Single, With Girlfriend
So what if they’re not yet married? As long as he has a girlfriend, he’s taken. See item 2 (unhappily married). If you’re like me who can’t bear the thought of hurting other people, do not entertain this guy. After all, you also became a girlfriend once right? Most of you know the feeling of being cheated on. And most of you know the feeling na hindi ka sineseryoso.

7. DOMs
Okay so they’re single and they’re rich… what’s not to like? Er… they’re sleazy and chauvinistic and makulit and will likely prey on needy girls. They make you want to vomit again and again with their cheesy pick-up lines like “So, do you need anything? I can give you a ride in my Mercedes ya know?,” “I’m an engineer on this really really big firm, like it’s really huge. As in. Having an engineer at home is good noh?, (True story. LOL.) “What’s your number? Oh, you don’t have it with you? Here’s mine. Call me. Especially when you have problems. I can listen and help you out.” “I can take you shopping, even if it’s not the sale season.” Really now?! Girls, please, we are not this desperate! Right?! Wait, did he say shopping?! Hehe.

These guys are available not only in Saudi Arabia. They are everywhere! But I’m speaking more of Filipinos in Saudi Arabia because unusual relationships are more lantaran here. Like it’s a normal thing. Like all hopes in me finding a potential boyfriend/husband is sucked out dry. Like being away from their families and being in a boring country are enough reasons to commit adultery and promote unfaithfulness. It’s just a sad plight. (Do not start a debate on judging people, wrong venue!)

So to be happy in Saudi Arabia, avoid complications like this. It will make your life easier. You’ll be able to sleep peacefully at night and wake up without the haggardness and stress that come with liking and loving the wrong guy. (I’m actually talking to myself here also).

So how will you know if the guy you met is one of the above? Ask for a Certificate of Singlehood from NSO on the first meeting! Well, aside from the obvious characteristics like having his wife and kids nearby or having his friends tell you his status, let him tell you what his status is and then do your research if you’re really interested in him. If he’s telling the truth, then good for him (and you if he’s single and available). If not, he’s a loser liar. Because why would he lie if his intentions are good?

If you’re a guy and you’re one of the above, do not hate me (worse, do not write a hate comment because that will totally give you away). If you’re a guy and you’re not one of the above … apply now! (Gays are not included!)

Oh wait, if gays are not included… then that leaves me with…

Okay okay, I am doomed.

PS. If I’m the single and available, that means I’m not in an LDR, which means there are three more PT girls left for you to choose from in How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work. If you still can’t pinpoint who… wait for the article “How To Make A Marriage Work in Saudi Arabia” and eliminate its author too. Heh.

This is Life Line 3. Check out other Life Line entries here.

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About Author

Janelle

The Editor-in-Chief speaks 7 languages: Filipino, English, Wit, Sarcasm, Truth, Creativity, and The Pink Tarha.

25 Comments

  1. doomed and jaded why not to master the dance step of beyonce single ladies?lol u will know more and understand more as time goes by here in the desert the other side of the culture of pinoys when it comes to relationship its only the icing of the cake lol all i can say enjoy at wag kang kukurap baka may ma miss ka lol.

  2. @mightydacz: thanks for the comment. believe me, my eyes are already wide open, but i will continue observing, learning, and understanding. 😉 <BR/>(er sorry, i cannot do a beyonce but the other PT girls and I will TRY.watch out for the MTV soon, LOL!)

  3. what you wrote is so true. i have worked in saudi for almost 5 years in khamis and jeddah and most men would consider themselves single even if they’re married. i can’t figure women who get into a relationship with men who they know are married. i met my husband in saudi by the way but he is single and we have been married for almost 6 years and now starting a new life in UAE. love reading your

  4. @larla: hello! i’m glad we share the same sentiments, hehe. you’re lucky to find a truly single available guy during your time. the PT girls and i were joking that the last batch of "right guys" were all taken 5-7 years ago, just about the same time you got one. hah! we’re right! hehe! ;P <BR/><BR/>good luck in your new life in the UAE! <BR/><BR/>thanks for reading our blog.

  5. Aja! I am sure meron pa jan.<BR/><BR/>pero ang problem ay baka sila rin ay jaded.<BR/><BR/>ever have that feeling that you are standing behind the person who are supposed to be with but you are looking over the left horizon and he is looking at the right horizon.<BR/><BR/>malay mo naman. <BR/><BR/>kahit hindi ako nagsisimba masyado, i will pray you find MR. Single and For You.<BR/><BR/>Don’t ever

  6. @sundrenched there must still be single guys out there nagtatago lang hehe… you’ll find one eventually 🙂

  7. Anonymous Reply

    I thought Saudi Arabia is tough with this "dating" thing? how’s does it work? I mean how did they do that?

  8. @sugarcoated cynic: thank you for praying for me. for a cynic, you sure are optimistic! hehe!(toinks! kaya nga pala sugarcoated!) :P<BR/><BR/>@larla: thank you for the support! hehe.<BR/>"I’m wishin’, and hopin’, and thinkin’, and prayin’,Planning and dreamin’ each night of his charms…" haha! :)<BR/><BR/>@anonymous: how do they do that? hmn, if there’s a will, there’s a way! at habang lalong

  9. no biggie sunD!<BR/><BR/>meron talagang kakulangan ng mga wafu, singol at SANE na STRAIGHT guys sa universe. Could it be maaga silang kinukuha ni lord?!?

  10. kahit dito sa pinas. may kakulangan. either that or magaling lang silang magtago.

  11. @sugarcoated cynic: "maagang kinukuha ni Lord!" LOL! well i guess tama ka, maybe they’re jaded too because there are many "wrong girls" out there too. hehe. <BR/>(i’m not saying i’m the right girl, but who knows?! hehehe!) 😉

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  13. Wicked!!! I totally agree with your post and I liked the way you wrote it! I hope all Pinays read your post.<BR/><BR/>Besides, why look for a Pinoy in Saudi? Most of the legit singles are in the Philippines. Kaya lang nasa high school pa. Haha.<BR/><BR/>O kaya naman, mga straight single nga pero tatakpan naman ng newspaper (ay, manlait ba…).<BR/><BR/>Someday your prince will come. For all you

  14. @Nebz: Thank you. <BR/>I tried looking in Pinas but all those within my age range seems to be taken. That or I wasn’t looking hard enough or I wasn’t being easy to be found. Hehe. <BR/><BR/>"Beauty after all is in the eye of the desperate beholder." LOL!<BR/><BR/>Of course, we’ll pray for you. Are you looking for a sraight, single, hottie Pinoy too? LOL, kiddin’!

  15. hey, never lose hope Sundrenched! 😉 The RIGHT man (na walang sabit) is out there…hehe.

  16. @Ivee: Hahaha.. Korek ka dyan sister. nagtatago lang yun kay Sundrenched. hahaha

  17. Of course, not! Kahit married pwede as long as he’s straight.

  18. @ivee: awww, thank you! the RIGHT MAN FOR ME will come along eh? hehe.<BR/><BR/>@maryhadalittlehump: hindi naman ako nakikipaglaro ng taguan, baki sya nagtatago?! hehehe. pakita na s’ya kamo! :P<BR/><BR/>@nebz: haha! you’re aiming for the WRONG one! but okay, we wish you luck! 😛

  19. Anonymous Reply

    Hey, I enjoyed your blog immensely. Although I still, for all the desert dung, do not have any idea why I should post a comment here in this article. I guess you forgot another type of guy, they do exist and up to know never ceases to amaze me and invoke a regurgitating spasm. Tan ta-raaannnn, these are the "GAY" guys who were straight up machos in the Philippines. They are totally the wrong

  20. @anonymous: hi, i guess i forgot "gay guys." the Pink Tarha girls and i believe that our "gaydar" is strong so we know if a guy is not really a "guy" at all, thus we do not consider them as "wrong GUYS." thank you for your insight though. it is indeed helpful to know if the guy is a closet queen. ;P<BR/><BR/>btw, we’re based in Riyadh, and yes, everything is orange right now. it’s a good thing

  21. Anonymous Reply

    That is shockingly true. I personally knew someone in riyadh who is (or was) married and with kids. He was in riyadh, The family was in philippines.<BR/><BR/>I came across one of his online profiles and found that he’s seeing some woman in riyadh.<BR/><BR/>Later i heard that she was pregnant and giving birth, but cant go to any hospital coz they’re not married! So they had to ring up friends who

  22. @anonymous: wow, chizmax! haha! well, the sad thing is, the situation you cited is becoming quite a norm around here. it’s sad for the babies who get caught in such situation nang wala naman silang kinalaman. what to do? what to do? <BR/><BR/>congratulations of finding your guy. even if he’s halfway around the world, at least he’s not out of this world! kiddin’… at least you found him. good

  23. True but ironically, women, even if they knew still fell for these guys. Some women even makes the first step towards this illicit relationships. A by-product of loneliness and being far from home and loveones.

  24. Anonymous Reply

    Whether in the desert or on the shores of Pinas, I think it&#39;s a general truth that guys like to pretend that they&#39;re unhappily married.<br /><br />I remember encountering a guy who claimed that he&#39;s already separated… only, he still lives under the same roof as his (ex-)wife. Fast forward to some developments and he claims that he&#39;s working things out with his wife. So

  25. Anonymous Reply

    My name is Evelyn. I&#39;ve worked in Riyadh KSA for about 7 years – 2 years as a single and 5 years as married.It was the year 2004 when I left, when I migrated to the US with my family.I actually met my husband there in KSA. There was no texting and chatting available during our time. It was only through talking on the phone for many hours-probably 4 hours at least and the boyfriend bringing

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